We’re Setting ourselves up to Fail
Tell me if you can relate…
Today will be the day. You brain dump all the things that need doing. Make a glorious, organized checklist (color coded, separated by task type…I see you…)
You also have 24 hours in a day, not to mention a (fill in the blank…new baby/toddler, preschooler, kid with sports-afterschool activities…)
Unless we clone you, create infinite time or you never sleep, expecting the entire list to get done would be a sheer impossibility.
You have this magical list of expectations, and then you have, well, life.
–The kid that takes 40 minutes to go down for a 30 minute nap
-The unexpected blow-out (I know you know that one!)
–17 other appointments that somehow forgot to make it to your Google Calendar so you’re shocked & running around the night before when the reminder email shows up in your in-box (cause you can’t reschedule for another 6 months AND they’ll charge you the full cancel fee!)
You know those things on your to-do list aren’t the things that will ACTUALLY get done. What WILL get done are the emergencies that pop up throughout the day.
We set ourselves up to fail.
We set unrealistic expectations, and just calling ourselves out on it is the biggest favor we can do for us.
To rub salt in a wound already…
For moms on their second, third + kid, what I always hear is “My body isn’t bouncing back like last time. The weight isn’t coming off. What am I doing wrong?”
Girl.
No judgement. I went through this, too.
Here’s some tough love I had to give myself…You’re older. You’re probably sleeping less. And it’s a body that’s gone through multiple pregnancies.
These aren’t excuses. These are realities. We need to start understanding the impact of all of this on our bodies and have some grace with ourselves to set expectations that are fair.
Getting a head’s up that we’ll ACTUALLY listen to wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Let’s be conscious of what we need to do to ACTUALLY meet the expectations we set for ourselves. Then, we can choose to take or not take small steps to making our expectations a reality.
Lay it all out for what it is. Realistically see how we’re expecting one outcome but what we’re not actually considering the real reasons WHY.
We owe ourselves intentionality.
You set yourself up when you have unrealistic expectations. How do we fix that? We need to be intentional our choices & thing things we can change.
Lay out the data. What are you ACTUALLY doing?
How about nutrition…How many times are you ACTUALLY grabbing the leftover corner of a grilled cheese sandwich from your kid’s plate & is that ACTUALLY meeting the demands of your body that would warrant weight loss & the 6-pack abs you thought would magically appear a few months after your 3rd kid?
(Remember, tough love. I don’t put things out here & haven’t processed for myself or do with my own clients. Write everything down. We can’t change what we don’t notice or see for what it actually is.)
How much are you ACTUALLY exercising?
Grab a WHOOP strap, Fitbit or Apple Watch & look at the data. If you’re not getting those steps or your daily work isn’t hitting the levels needed to meet your expectations, either adjust your expectations or sit down & map out a plan to make it happen.
Stop setting yourself up to fail.
It doesn’t have to be like this. We need to acknowledge the realities of our situations so we can be real about our goals.
Let’s be clear so we can focus our efforts on the things that will make the most difference.
You deserve to meet your expectations…if you set yourself up realistically.
